• what options will fulfil your purpose

When you are constantly viewing others’ lives through the perfect filter, it’s no wonder that the existential crisis is very much alive, kicking and screaming, in the 21st century.

So, are you feeling overwhelmed and lost? Have you lost your mojo and don’t know how to get it back?

Firstly, let’s look at what purpose is, why it’s important for a meaningful and fulfilling life and then how you can reconnect with your purpose.

Why am I here?
At a basic level, purpose is the reason why you do something or why something exists. I’m not really talking about the life purpose behind which soup you choose to buy, I’m talking about what gets you out of bed in the morning, maybe it’s the reason why you exist, why are you here, or, the meaning of (your) life?

Hands up if you said 42!*

(*In Douglas Adams ‘The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy’, a group of uber-intelligent beings use Deep Thought, the supercomputer, to learn the Answer to the Ultimate Question of Life, The Universe, and Everything. It takes Deep Thought several million years to compute the answer, which turns out to be 42).

What is purpose?
Purpose is the sense that there is something bigger than yourself that you are making a unique contribution to, and your contribution is making a positive difference.

Your sense of purpose is unique to you. It might be a ‘calling’ – a lifelong purpose that takes you from now until the end of your days, never deviating from the path, just a clear destination and the drive to get there.

For many, however, purpose isn’t about grand and world-changing goals. It’s much closer to home, quieter and might be invisible to those around you. Whatever the size or scale of your purpose, it is valid.

The other thing about purpose is that for most people, and maybe this includes you, it can change. And it may change several times throughout your lifetime. 

 

Why is purpose important?
Purpose can be described as the motivation for getting out of bed in the morning – especially on a cold, dark winter day!

It’s what gives you energy, passion, excitement and joy. Who doesn’t want more of that?!

Purpose is unique to each individual, so your purpose will be different to your partner, friends, family and colleagues.

Whatever brings you purpose can have a significant influence on your mental health, well-being, your relationship with yourself and with others.

Research is showing that people with a strong sense of purpose are:

• healthier
• happier
• less prone to disease
• more resilient to change
• less lonely

and have:

• stronger personal relationships
• greater success

Why do we lose our sense of purpose?
Feeling like you have no purpose or you’ve lost your sense of purpose is actually more common than you may think.

One day you are motivated, excited, passionate and the next…..BOOM! Existential crisis!

A lack of purpose usually happens when something changes and you’re finding it difficult to adapt to the change. You might get some warning that change is on the way, or it might be completely unexpected as change yanks that rug from under your unsuspecting feet.

Or it might occur slowly over time, creeping into your life like rising damp.

You can experience a loss of purpose at any time throughout your life and most of us will experience at least one (I’ve had three so far!).

Big life changes don’t necessarily equal an existential crisis, but if the change isn’t aligned with your sense of purpose, then it may become an issue.

There are multiple events that can destabilise your sense of purpose and leave you reeling. Some typical ones are:

Big life changes:

• changes at work or changing jobs,
• starting a family,
• children flying the nest,
• moving to a new city or country

Sudden events:

• redundancy or being fired
• illness
• relationships ending
• bereavement
• national or global incidents (e.g. COVID, financial crash)

What does a lack of purpose feel like?
If you are lacking purpose, you may:

• lack of motivation and enthusiasm
• feel lost or stuck, dissatisfied or numb
• feel confused or anxious because things that used to give you a sense of enjoyment don’t any more
• struggle to find joy in the day-to-day
• feel bored and lacklustre
• lack direction
• think you’re not contributing or making a difference
• have experienced change that has invalidated your old sense of purpose
• feel overwhelmed by a sense of hopelessness

Hurrah! You’ve lost your sense of purpose.
I doubt many people have punched the air with delight when they’ve realised that the path they were on no longer serves a purpose, but recognising how you are feeling is the first positive step to acknowledging that something is ‘off’.

These feelings are a wake-up call to alert you to the fact you may have lost your sense of purpose, and you may want to do something about it.

Although unpleasant, potentially frightening and upsetting, losing your sense of purpose is an opportunity to look at how your life is progressing and reevaluate where you are and what you need and want to get you back on track or find your new track.

Do you want purpose?!
Exploring what will bring you purpose when you are in the midst of a crisis and feeling like you are on your own can be overwhelming.

The enormity of the task, even just trying to find a starting point, can be so daunting that the drudgery of the daily treadmill, despite how soul-crushing it may be, seems like the easier option.

It might seem like the safer option to stick where you are, but what’s easy about living a life feeling lost, stuck, overwhelmed, bored, anxious, lack-lustre or confused? Nothing about that is easy.

So, what can you do to find purpose again?
Here are 6 steps to reconnect with your sense of purpose:

• Values – what are your core principles and beliefs?
• Passion –what gives you passion, what are you good at and what piques your interest
• Explore – try new things to discover new passions and interests, from hobbies to causes
• Reflect – what have you found inspiring and energising in the past? What have you found depleting and harmful?
• Goals – set goals that are meaningful to you and that align with your values
• Action – the first step is to take one.

And if you want more?

Coaching is a tried and tested way to bring you back to a sense of purpose and get you living again.

If you would like support to find your purpose and live a meaningful and fulfilled life, then I’d love to help you. Drop me a message and let’s have a no-obligation 30-minute chat.

Contact me: info@melharrowsmithcoaching.com